When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At first of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final 12 months in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Right this moment we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re fascinated by a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however in case you’re any type of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. In the event you’re not ingesting in the course of the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for not less than 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is determined by what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see in case you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In the event you spend quite a lot of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which ends up in quite a lot of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may wish to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No arduous alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my ingesting had been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that type of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I should not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra aware method to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when fascinated by alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of with regards to speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any kind of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In the event you’re able to get trustworthy with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you could have solutions/suggestions for the best way to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting buddies? 

Krysty: You may want to seek out new buddies – haha. However, critically, if your pals actually respect and assist you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to start out ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definately may must rethink who you’re spending time with. You have to work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve got, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your pal group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately may want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober individual round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit of extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In the event you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s type of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this 12 months and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam