This week I did one thing that felt presumably a bit batshit loopy and stayed, by myself, in a treehouse within the woods. I do know. The one who will get spooked in her personal backyard.
It’s testomony to simply how desperately I wanted to take away myself from all noise and distraction (impending deadline that I nonetheless can’t speak about) that I ventured out into the wilds alone, risking potential Blair Witch Undertaking-style situations and with solely a small pair of nail scissors and a laptop computer charging cable (makeshift garrote) for cover. As somebody who barricades their lodge door from the within, even when there’s a reception desk two flooring down and a twenty-four hour concierge, I can’t fairly consider that I willingly took myself off to the wilderness.
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However look; I’ve made all of this sound a bit creepy. Clear your minds of the Blair Witch stuff, it was only a little bit of drama for the intro, for this treehouse, one of many Skylark Treehouses at KIP hideaways, was simply probably the most phenomenally enjoyable, fantastically secluded locations that I’ve ever stayed. Wherever.
For those who crave solitude, in the event you lengthy for the sound of birdsong and the rustling of the bushes, overlook the lodge break: two nights right here, with the out of doors tub and the on-deck fireplace pit and the key walkway that weaves by means of the woods…two nights right here and it’s as if you’ve had some type of thoughts and soul reset. Three nights and also you overlook that there’s the rest on the market, on this planet. You already know whenever you simply have completely nothing to do? And there’s nothing you can do? So that you simply turn out to be kind of inert, as if you’re operating on standby mode reasonably than truly switched on?
That’s how Skylark made me really feel. And keep in mind, please, that it made me really feel like this regardless of the very fact I used to be knocking out 4 thousand phrases a day on my laptop computer, mainlining natural tea and solely often getting as much as have a shake and a stretch. In precise reality it was the right place to plough by means of my wordcount for the deadline-I-can’t-mention-yet as a result of it was simply so utterly, fantastically silent.
And although half of the treehouse was completely open-air, together with an incredible – very photogenic – out of doors kitchen and the aforementioned bathtub and deck, the bed room and bathe room have been absolutely enclosed in a hyper-insulated, hermetically-sealed pod. Large home windows all over the place, large cozy mattress, however a correct protected little (absolutely lockable) hotel-style room with a kitchenette (tea, espresso, oven) and massive walk-in bathe in addition to one of many best-placed bits of loo glazing I’ve seen, excessive up on the wall in order that it framed the bushes exterior however retained whole privateness.
On the privateness factor: there are different treehouses (six homes altogether) however they’re fairly far aside. On arrival, my coronary heart did sink after I heard the faint, dulcet tones of another person’s kids (as a result of who desires to listen to different folks’s kids after they’re making an attempt to calm down?) however after I leaned proper out to try to spot them and maybe scare them off with an evil glare the treehouse they have been in, my nearest neighbour, was actually fairly distant. In reality you may inform how distant every one is as a result of the parking areas on the lane, two for every home, are nicely spaced-out.
Right here’s the way it goes: you arrive to Skylark Treehouses by way of the doorway lane after which the parking for every treehouse is signposted with slightly emblem. (They ship you all the information by electronic mail earlier than you arrive.) Every little automobile park has an electrical charging level, which is massively helpful in the event you’re an electrical car-haver and need to recharge while you keep. (I’m a brand new electrical car-haver and nonetheless getting used to the truth that you may’t simply pull into any previous petrol station and refill; having a charger at your vacation spot simply appears to be the final word, world-changing comfort at this level in my life. Extra thrilling, I believe, than even an out of doors tub.)
A personal walkway takes you down, Swallows and Amazons model, to the doorway of your treehouse (which is lockable, and lit) and the door opens onto essentially the most beautiful little out of doors camp, excessive up within the bushes, completely non-public and with a roof over the dwelling bits in order that it may be continually in use. After I say camp, that is nothing like tenting; it’s tenting, I suppose, for these (good day!) who love the scent of the outside and like being surrounded by nature however who don’t need to get trench foot and have to be inside ten metres of a completely flushing bathroom always. It appears like the agricultural treehouse/tenting idyll, although a model of it you’d discover in Vogue, but it surely acts like a luxurious lodge. All the greatest supplies, costly home equipment, a bin with buttons to open and shut (God how simply happy am I?) and that good, show-stopping out of doors tub. With solely the cows within the discipline to witness your soak.
There’s a woodburner contained in the sleeping suite, in addition to radiators, so I’m fairly positive this place could be toasty as something within the wintery months, however in summer time it’s doorways thrown broad open and out of doors fireplace pit on, only for the atmosphere, in the event you fancy it. I didn’t, as a result of I used to be there by myself and I’m an everlasting catastrophiser and imagined myself unintentionally setting fireplace to my very own hair and never having anybody to assist put it out. Nonetheless, it was good sitting there and listening to the near-silence, as soon as the birds had gone to sleep. With my Brixham Harbour fish pie, one of many ready-to-oven freshly-made meals the folks at Skylark can ship to your treehouse to your arrival. It was scrumptious. And massively welcome as I’d determined upfront that I didn’t need to must cook dinner, as a result of it will have been simply one other distraction, and so it saved me from consuming muesli for dinner three nights in a row.
So to recap: you need absolute peace and quiet. You need the luxurious really feel and a focus to element {that a} lodge would possibly give, however you need one thing extra secluded and personal. You like the concept of a camp-style break however desire a good mattress, full plumbing and no sense of damp. You need the ever-Instagrammable “tub underneath the celebrities” however don’t need to hear one other soul while you lie in it and – lastly – you need to benefit from the outside however really feel protected and safe.
Bingo! I don’t assume anybody would remorse a few nights right here for a complete reset. What I favored most was their very stern guidelines contract that you simply needed to comply with and signal, promising to not make noise and to respect different friends. Bloody good. You actually do really feel as if you’re the one friends there – and it was absolutely booked on the nights that I stayed.
Costs? From £250 per evening. Perhaps barely greater than you’d anticipate in the event you went “glamping”, however this totally will not be glamping. It’s a full lodge suite that’s utterly non-public, with the advantage of an enormous out of doors area that can be utilized all 12 months spherical. (There’s heating above the eating desk and the entire area is considerately lit.) It’s nowhere close to as costly as a luxurious lodge suite however that’s what I’d evaluate it to; though the supplies contained in the sealed sleeping space have been left fairly rustic and pure, simply one of many many eco-measures right here, the fixtures and fittings have been of the best high quality and no expense had been spared.
Had I not stayed alone, I genuinely assume that it will have been tough to ever depart. In precise reality, I booked one other evening on the top of my two evening evaluation keep, so I believe that claims all of it. The mad factor was, I didn’t even enterprise out of the treehouse. I couldn’t inform you what was half a mile in any course, even an eighth of a mile. I simply wrote and wrote and wrote. In my escape pod. Which is strictly what it was.
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